on parenting and other such thoughts

I think one of the things many parents struggle with is admitting when they aren't the best person for the job. When I say job I don't mean parenting as a whole, but rather the issues that come up day to day. I guess we somehow think that it equals admitting defeat. But that is equating parenthood to some kind of game where winning is involved, and that you as the parent should be winning. I see (at least) two problems with this:

1. Parenting is a lifelong endeavor full of ups and downs with few tangible rules. Every game I know of has an exact beginning and end with definitive rules of play: how points are gained, directives of which path to take, how to determine the winner, etc. This model simply does not seem to fit parenting. There are days when I wish it did, when things could be so cut and dry. But indeed they are not.

2. We've already established that it's not a game with a winner and all, but if there was a winner...should it be you?? NO! It should be your children. And we all know that deep down, but maybe it bears repeating now and then.

So, no winner = no defeat That can be a load off your shoulders if you let it. Some of the issues where I see this happening are: whether or not to home school, whether or not to stay at home, . You really have to take a look at yourself and know your assets and your weaknesses. Maybe we don't want to take that long and hard of a look at ourselves because we're afraid of what we'll discover. But in the end if you take the time to do this, your kids will be much better off.

This brings about another thought. We each are individuals (duh!), so why do we look at other people for comparison of how we should act or progress through life?? Just because Sally down the street homeschools all eight of her extremely bright and well adjusted kids does not mean that you should feel guilty about sending your kids to school. I surely know that I could not homeschool Claire. I don't know yet about my younger two. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about that, like maybe I should be able to homeschool her. After all I did teach junior high math for 5 years. But when I look at it honestly I know that I do not have the right personality for that. There are many things that I feel completely capable of teaching Claire, but I just don't think academics is at the top of that list. Yes, we work on those things. But there are so many things she get stuck on and I don't seem to have the right words to "unstick" her. Plus, there are so many things that I have full responsibility for that it's refreshing to let go a little and see how she flourishes with someone else's instruction.

Well these are my thoughts for today...I don't want to sound preachy or anything...just putting thoughts in writing and seeing what happens. It's almost Thanksgiving! How I love the holiday season.